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  "I'll do that," I said, trying (unsuccessfully by the looks on their faces) to be nonchalant.

  "Z, is everything—"

  I held up my hand to cut off Damien. "I'm tired. I'm kinda freaked about Erik. And, honestly, I need some alone time." I hadn't wanted to sound so totally bitchy, but I was getting beyond the point where I could keep the happy look plastered on my face and continue pretending that I wasn't shaking all over inside. And I absolutely would rather have my friends think I was PMS-ing than that I was ready to totally fall apart. High Priestesses in training didn't fall apart. They handled things. I really really really didn't want them to know that I was so not handling things. "Guys, could you just give me awhile. Please?"

  "No problem," the Twins said together. "Later, Z."

  "All right. I'll, uh, see you later, too," Damien said.

  "Bye, Z," Jack said.

  I waited till the door closed behind them before I walked slowly into the side room that was used as a dance studio and yoga room. It had a bunch of soft mats stacked in the corner and I sank down on them. My hands were shaking when I pulled my cell phone out of the pocket of my dress.

  Are U ok?

  I keyed in the short text message and then sent it to the disposable cell phone I'd bought Stevie Rae. If felt like an eternity before she answered.

  Im ok

  Hang on I replied.

  Hurry she texted back.

  Will do

  I closed my phone, leaned against the wall, and, feeling like the entire world was pressing down on my shoulders, I burst into sobbing, snotty tears.

  I cried and shook and shook and cried while I hugged my legs hard to my chest and rocked back and forth. I knew what was wrong with me. It surprised me that no one else, not one of my friends, had figured it out.

  I'd thought Erik was dying, and it had brought back the night Stevie Rae had died in my arms. It was as if it was happening all over again—the blood, the sadness, the horror. It had completely blindsided me. I mean, I'd thought I was over what had happened to Stevie Rae. After all, she wasn't really dead.

  I'd just been fooling myself.

  I'd been bawling so hard that I didn't know he was there until he touched my shoulder. I looked up, wiping tears from my eyes, trying to think of something reassuring to say to whatever friend had come back for me.

  "I could feel that you needed me," Loren said.

  With a sob I hurled myself into his arms. He sat beside me, pulling me onto his lap. Holding me tight, he murmured sweet words, telling me that everything would be okay now and that he'd never let me go. When I finally got myself under control and hiccupped instead of sobbed, Loren handed me one of his old-time linen hankies.

  "Thanks," I muttered as I blew my nose and wiped my face. I tried not to look at myself in the wall of mirrors across from us, but I couldn't avoid catching a glimpse of my puffy eyes and red nose. "Oh, great. I look like utter crap."

  Loren chuckled and shifted me on his lap so that I was facing him. He gently smoothed back my hair. "You look like a goddess who has been saddened by stress and hardship."

  I felt a little hysterical laughter bubble up from somewhere inside my chest. "I don't think goddesses snot on themselves."

  He smiled. "Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that." Then his expression sobered. "When Erik Changed you thought he was dying, didn't you?"

  I nodded, scared that if I said anything I'd start bawling again.

  Loren's jaw clenched and unclenched. "I've told Aphrodite over and over that all fledglings, and not just fifth and sixth formers, should be aware of how the Change manifests in the final stage so that they're not frightened if they witness it."

  "Does it hurt as bad as it looks like it does?"

  "It is painful, but it's a good pain—if that makes sense. Think of it like sore muscles after you've worked out. They hurt, but it's not a bad hurt."

  "Looked like a lot more than sore muscles," I said.

  "It's not that bad—more shocking than painful actually. Sensations rush into your body and everything becomes hypersensitive." His hand caressed the side of my face as his finger lightly followed the line of my Mark. "You'll experience it yourself some day."

  "I hope so."

  Neither of us said anything for a moment, although he continued to caresses my face and trace the Mark that decorated the side of my neck. His touch was making my body relax and tingle at the same time.

  "But something else is upsetting you, isn't it?" Loren spoke gently. His voice was deep and musical and hypnotically beautiful. "It's more than just Erik's Change bringing back the memory of your friend's death."

  When I didn't say anything, he leaned forward and kissed me on my forehead, touching his lips softly to the crescent-moon tattoo. I shivered.

  "You can talk to me, Zoey. There's already so much between us that you must know you can trust me."

  His lips brushed over mine. It would be really nice to tell Loren about Stevie Rae. He could help me, and god knows I needed his help. Especially now that I'd kinda decided that Stevie Rae might be healed by my asking Nyx, which, of course, meant that there was going to be a circle casting involved, and that meant either getting Damien, the Twins, Aphrodite, and me to Stevie Rae or getting Stevie Rae to us. Neferet's protective spell would not be helping that, but maybe Loren knew some adult vampyre secret way around it. I tried to listen to my gut—tried to decide whether if my instinct was still screaming at me to keep my mouth shut—but all I could feel were Loren's hands and lips.

  "Talk to me," he whispered against my mouth.

  "I—I want to …" I whispered back breathlessly. "It's just so complicated."

  "Let me help you, love. Together there's nothing we can't work though." He kisses got longer, hotter.

  I wanted to tell him, but my head was spinning and it was hard for me to think, let alone talk.

  "I'll show you how much we can share … how completely we can be together," he said.

  Loren took the hand he was fisting in my hair and pulled at his shirt so that the buttons popped, exposing his chest. Then he drew his thumbnail slowly over his left breast, leaving behind a line of perfect scarlet. The scent of his blood wrapped around me.

  "Drink," he said.

  I couldn't stop myself. I lowered my face to his chest and tasted him. His blood surged through me. It was different than Heath's— not as hot, not as rich. But it was more powerful. It pounded through me, along with a desire that was red and urgent. I moved against his body, wanting more and more.

  "Now it's my turn. I have to taste you!" Loren said.

  Before I realized what he was doing he'd wrenched off my dress. I didn't have a chance to freak about the fact that he was seeing me in nothing but my bra and panties because he took his thumb and this time sliced it across my breast. I gasped at the sharp pain, and then his lips were on me and he was drinking my blood and the pain was replaced by waves of amazing pleasure so intense that all I could do was moan. Loren tore at his clothes while he drank me, and I helped him. All I knew what that I had to have him. Everything was all heat and sensation and desire. His hands and mouth were everywhere and still I couldn't get enough of him.

  Then it happened. His heartbeat was under my skin and I could feel my pulse pounding in time with his. I could feel his passion along with mine and hear his desire roaring inside my head.

  And then, somewhere in the back of my jumbled mind I heard Heath screaming, "Zoey! No!"

  My body jerked in Loren's arms. "Ssh," he whispered. "It's okay. It's better this way, love, much better. Being Imprinted with a human is too difficult—it has too many ramifications."

  My breath was coming fast and hard. "Is it broken? Has my Imprint with Heath been broken?"

  "It has. Our Imprint has replaced it." He rolled so that I was under his body. "Now let's finish it. Let me make love to you, baby."

  "Yes," I whispered. My lips found Loren's chest again, and as I drank from him, Loren made love to me until our wor
ld exploded in blood and passion.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  I was lying on top of Loren in a delicious fog of sensation. His hand caressed a long sweep down my back, stroking over and over the line of my tattoos.

  "Your tattoos are exquisite. Like you," Loren said.

  I sighed happily and nuzzled against him. Turning my head, I was mesmerized by our reflection in the floor-to-ceiling studio mirrors. We were naked and there were smudges of blood on both of our bodies, which were twined together intimately, my long black hair only partially covering us. The filigree of my tattoos looked exotic stretching from my face and neck down along the line of my curving spine to my lower back. The thin film of sweat on my body made them glisten like sapphires.

  Loren was right. I was exquisite. And he'd been right about us. It didn't matter that he was older and a full-grown vampyre (and a professor at my school). What we had together went beyond all of that. What we had was really special. More special than what I felt for Erik. Even more special than Heath.

  Heath…

  The sleepy, satisfied feeling left me like someone had splashed cold water on my skin. My gaze went from our reflection to Loren's face. He was watching me with a slight smile curving the corners of his lips. God, he was so dang gorgeous I couldn't believe he was mine. Then I mentally shook myself, and asked the question I had to have answered. "Loren, is really true that my Imprint with Heath is broken?"

  "Yes, it's really true," he said. "You and I have Imprinted, and that severed your link with the human boy."

  "But I read the Vamp Soc book, and it only talked about how painful and hard it is to break an Imprint between a vampyre and a human. I don't understand how it could have happened so easily, and it didn't say anything about one Imprint breaking another."

  His slight smile spread and he gave me a sweet, soft kiss. "You'll learn that there's a lot the textbooks don't teach about being a vampyre."

  That made me feel young and stupid and more than a little embarrassed, which he instantly picked up on.

  "Hey, I didn't mean anything. I remember how confusing it was not to really understand what it is you're Changing into. It's okay. It happens to all of us. And now you have me to help you."

  "I just don't like not knowing," I said, relaxing again in his arms.

  "I know. So here's the deal with breaking that Imprint. You and the human did have a bond, but you're not a vampyre. You haven't completed your Change." He paused and then added a firm "Yet. So it wasn't a full-blown Imprint. When you and I shared our blood, that bonding overwhelmed the lesser one." His smile turned sexy. "Because I am a vampyre."

  "Did it hurt Heath?"

  Loren shrugged. "Probably, but the pain doesn't last. And in the long run it's better this way. The entire vampyre world will be open to you very soon, Zoey. You will be an extraordinary High Priestess. There won't be a place for a human in that world."

  "I know you're right," I said, trying to sort through everything in my mind and remembering how sure I'd been earlier that night that I had to break up with Heath. It was really a good thing that my being with Loren had broken the Imprint with Heath. It was easier this way—for both of us. Another thought had me saying, "It's a good thing that I wasn't Imprinted with you and Heath at the same time."

  "That would be impossible. Nyx had made it so that we Imprint singly. I suppose it's to keep us from making an army of Imprinted human minions."

  I was startled as much by the sarcastic tone of his voice as by what he'd just said. "I would never have thought about doing that," I said.

  Loren laughed softly. "There are many vamps who would."

  "Would you?"

  "Of course not." He kissed me again and added, "Besides, I'm more than happy with our Imprint. I don't need any others."

  His words thrilled me. He was mine and I was his! Then Erik's face swam before my eyes and the thrill faded.

  "What is it?" he said.

  "Erik," I whispered.

  "You belong to me!" Loren's voice was rough, as were his lips as he kissed me possessively, making my blood pound.

  "Yes" was all I could say when the kiss was over. He was like a tidal wave I couldn't stand against, and I let him sweep Erik away from me. "I do belong to you."

  Loren's arms tightened around me, and then he lifted me gently and shifted his body so that he could look into my eyes. "Can you tell me now?"

  "Tell you what?" Even though I asked the question I thought I knew what it was he wanted to hear.

  "Tell me what it is that upset you so badly."

  Ignoring the sudden clenching of my stomach I made my decision. After what had just happened between us, I had to trust Loren.

  "Stevie Rae didn't die. At least not like what we think of as dying. She's alive, even though she's different. And she's not the only fledgling to survive a supposed death. There's a bunch of them, but they're not like her. Stevie Rae has managed to keep a hold on her humanity. They haven't."

  I felt his body tense and half expected him to tell me I was nuts, but all he said was, "What do you mean? Explain everything to me, Zoey."

  So I did. I told Loren everything—from the "ghosts" I'd seen to the fact that they weren't really ghosts, to the awfulness of the undead dead kids killing the Union football players, and then how I saved Heath. Finally, I told him about Stevie Rae. All about her.

  "So she's waiting at Aphrodite's garage apartment right now?" he said.

  I nodded. "Yeah, she needs blood every day. The hold she has on her humanity isn't very good. If she doesn't get blood, I'm afraid she'll become like the rest of them." I shivered and his arm tightened around me.

  "They're that bad?" he said.

  "You can't imagine. They're not human and they're not vampyre. It's like they've turned into all the stereotypes that are most horrible about vamps and humans. They're soulless, Loren." I searched his eyes. "And too far gone to fix, but Stevie Rae's affinity for the earth has made it possible for her to keep some of her soul, even if she's not whole. I really think I can do something for Stevie Rae."

  "You do?"

  The thought flitted through my mind that it was kinda weird that he sounded shocked about me healing Stevie Rae but that he'd had no problem accepting the fact that undead dead kids existed.

  "Well, yeah. I might be way wrong, but I believe I just need to use the powers of the elements. You know," I paused and shifted my weight, wondering if I was getting heavy, "I have that whole special connection with the five elements. I'm guessing that I just need to use it."

  "It might work. But you should keep in mind that you're invoking powerful magic, and there's always a cost associated with that." He spoke slowly, like he was considering what he said carefully before he said it (unlike how I usually blurted stuff and then was sorry or embarrassed later). "Zoey, how did this terrible thing happen to Stevie Rae and the other fledglings? Who or what is responsible for it?"

  I started to say Neferet when Don't speak her name slammed into my gut. Okay, the words themselves didn't hit me, but I knew what was all of a sudden making me feel like I was gonna puke. And then I realized with a small start of surprise that I hadn't actually admitted everything to Loren. In my telling of the night when I'd rescued Heath from the undead-dead kids and first found Stevie Rae, I'd left out any mention of Neferet. I hadn't thought about it. I hadn't done it on purpose, but there was a whole piece of the story puzzle that I'd failed to put together for him.

  Nyx. It had to be the Goddess working through my subconscious. She didn't want Loren to know anything about Neferet. Was she trying to protect him? Probably…

  "Zoey, what's wrong?"

  "Oh, nothing. I'm just thinking. No," I kinda stuttered, "I—I don't know how it happened, but I wish I did. I wish I could figure it out," I added hastily.

  "Stevie Rae doesn't know?"

  Warning bells rang in my stomach again. "She's not really communicating very well right now. Why? Have you ever heard of anything like this happening be
fore?"

  "No, nothing like this." He ran a soothing hand down my back. "I just thought if you knew how it happened, that might help you to fix it."

  I looked into his eyes, wishing the sick feeling in my stomach would go away. "You can't tell anyone about this, Loren. Not anyone, not even Neferet." I tried to be all High Priestessy and firm, but my voice shook and broke.

  "You don't need to worry, love! Of course I won't tell anyone." Loren held me close and stroked my back. "But who else knows besides you and me?"

  "No one." The lie was so automatic it shocked me.

  "What about Aphrodite? You said you're using her garage apartment to hide Stevie Rae, right?"

  "Aphrodite doesn't know. I heard her talking to some kids about her parents being gone for the rest of the winter. She was saying that they should use the garage apartment to party, but, well, everyone's pretty pissed at Aphrodite, so no one took her up on it. That's how I knew the apartment was empty, so I snuck Stevie Rae up there." I hadn't consciously meant not to tell him about Aphrodite, but it seemed my mouth had already made that decision for me. I mentally crossed my fingers, hoping that he couldn't tell I was lying.

  "Okay, that's probably for the best. Zoey, you said Stevie Rae's not herself, and can't communicate very well. How do you talk to her?"

  "Well, she can talk, but she's confused and … and …" I floundered around trying to figure out how to explain it without giving more away than I should, "and sometimes more animal-like than human," I said inanely. "I just saw her earlier tonight before Neferet's ritual"

  I could feel him nod. "That's where you were coming from."

  "Yeah." I decided not to mention Heath. Just thinking about him made me feel guilty. Our Imprint was gone, but instead of being relieved I was weirdly hollow.

  "But how do you know she's still at Aphrodite's apartment and okay right now?"

  Distracted, I said, "Huh? Oh, I gave her a cell phone. I can call or text her. I just checked in with her a little while ago." I motioned to my cell phone, which had fallen out of the pocket of my dress and was lying beside it on the floor next to our pallet. Then I shook Heath from my mind and focused on my more immediate problem. "I might need to ask for your help."